This morning I am going to talk about two Christmases. The Christmas that each of us experiences around the tree we put up in our home, and that first Christmas in Bethlehem of Judea c. 2,000 years ago.
One of my favorite movies is Walt Disney’s “Those Calloways.” It was one of the last movies Disney oversaw personally before his death. It is filled with the family values and life lessons that Walt Disney himself loved to teach. It stars Brian Keith, Vera Miles, and Brandon de Wilde. I suppose one could say that the cast runs the gamut from “Miles to de Wilde!” It also features Ed Wynn and Walter Brennan, two of my all time favorite actors. “Those Calloways” is about a family that makes its living trapping and farming, but the family passion is to create a sanctuary for the tens of thousands of Canada Geese that fly over their little New England town year after year.
One of my favorite scenes in the movie is the Calloway Christmas. There is snow on the ground, and the starry Vermont night is cold, but, in their little cabin, the Calloways and their guests are as snug as bugs in a rug. The sideboard sags with Christmas goodies, a log fire burns brightly, and the tree is resplendent with finery. Things are looking up. The head of the family, Cam Calloway, has been laid-up with a broken leg, but he is on the mend. Cam has an alcohol problem, but he has that under control, too. Cam’s only son, Bucky, is just back from trapping mink and ermine. He is not just a hunter home from the hill, but a warrior returned from battle. He has successfully fought and killed a marauding wolverine, which, we have already been told, is the most vicious creature in the north woods, more to be feared than a lion or a bear. Mrs. Callaway is radiant because she rejoices to have both of her men safely back home. There are guests present, too. They include the family doctor, and Mr. Mellott, the owner of the local store, his wife and his daughter, Birdie, played by a very youthful, beautiful, and innocent Linda Evans. Linda Evans never looked this good in “Dynasty.” I digress.
The scene is all about gift giving. The Calloway men have been saving the best of the furs they have trapped to make into a coat for Mrs. Calloway. Mrs. Mellott has sewed the coat for them. It is wrapped and ready, and everyone in the room is in on the secret except Mrs. Calloway herself. When she finally gets it, she first protests the luxury, and then she melts. It is the kind of response that we men dream of when we plan secret gifts for our wives and mothers.
I like this scene because it has everything a perfect family Christmas should have: a perfect family, a perfect setting, perfect friends, and, of course, the perfect gift.
Of course, the truth is that Christmas is rarely as perfect as this scene from my favorite movie, and because it is not, we invariably become well, anxious. In the Christmas season, many different things produce anxiety. Here are a few examples:
1. Believer it or not, some people are anxious about Christmas Cards. I recently read the confession of one woman who is anxious because she always receives so many beautiful and thoughtful Christmas Cards, while she herself sends none. She wrote that one of her dearest friends finally relived her anxiety when she said, “Listen, I have sent you a Christmas Card every year for more than twenty years. Not once have I ever received a card from you. I don’t really care. My love for you has nothing to do with the hope that you will send me a card at Christmas.” When I read that, I was relieved. You see, each and every year Elayne and I receive dozens of thoughtful and beautiful Christmas cards, but we never send them. Indeed, when I think about sending cards to the people I care about, I am overwhelmed, for you are so many. We count more than 2,000 people as friends who have belonged to the three churches we have served! What to do? Perhaps you recall that when my daughter Edyth was married, Elayne and I invited the whole church. We did that because we did not know how to choose among you. I feel the same way about sending cards. How can I choose? I cannot! Yet, I think I would love the pleasure of sending cards. I have resolved that when I retire, I am going to send cards to a dozen different people every Christmas. I am going to send where I think they will do the most good, and I am going to send them in no particular order. I hope to put a lifetime of gratitude and good will into each of those cards, and when I send them, I will think of all the people who have sent them to me.
2. Some people are anxious over giving and receiving gifts. Some of us have a hard time receiving gifts. That is a shame, it robs people of the joy of giving gifts. Here is a tip for better gift giving. Good gift givers are invariably good listeners, and poor gift givers are invariably poor listeners. I like to give gifts that people want, but I don’t always succeed. I am fearful about what this means, so this year, I have been extra careful to listen to my wife, and to others for whom I will buy a gift. For myself, in case anyone is listening, I like to receive certain gifts more than others. I particularly like gifts that are homemade. They contain something of the person who gives them. By the way, if you are thinking about re-gifting something, make sure it is store bought. Not even Jerry Sienfeld will re-gift a homemade gift. I also like gifts that are eatable. You don’t have to store them for long, and they seldom require dusting. Gifts of time are especially good, too. Why not take someone to a movie, or out to dinner? This year I received an early Christmas gift when one of my friends challenged me to accompany him to weight-watchers. If you try that, make sure it is a good friend, with thick skin. (Ha!)
3. Some people are anxious over the cost of Christmas. This is especially true when someone in our life expects expensive gifts. This is a shame, and those people who appreciate Christmas only because they have the prospect of gain have missed the reason for the season. I know you are familiar with the comic strip “Peanuts.” I was relived that the strip did not die with its creator, Charles Schultz. Not long ago, in one of the classic strips from the 1950’s, Lucy was showing Charlie her Christmas “Get” List. She had written down all the gifts that she was likely to get from her, 2 grandmothers, 2 grandfathers, and 8 aunts and uncles. Charlie asked, “Where is your ‘Give’ list?” Lucy said, “What is that.” Charlie said, “I knew it.” One rule of Christmas is never to give, and spend more than you can afford. One of the ways to take a little anxiety out of Christmas is to simplify your gift giving. Families, offices, Sunday School Classes, circles, etc. can draw names instead of everyone buying gifts for everyone. Just make sure that everyone’s name is included in the drawing. Likewise, it is always in good taste for a group to give a gift to some person or organization outside the group in honor of the season. I know a breakfast group that always takes up a collection for their favorite waiter or waitress. One year in our office at Church, we bought a goat for a village in Africa. If that fails, just remember that the people who matter will not be disappointed if a gift is inexpensive. Jesus once spent an afternoon watching what was good. He watched as the rich put their gifts into the temple treasury. Then he saw what was better, a poor widow dropped two copper coins into the box. He told his disciples that the poor widow’s gift was by far the best, because she put in “all that she had, her whole living.”
4. Some people are anxious that they will be lonely at Christmas. According to the National Mental Health Association, about one person in ten will be lonely at Christmas. Not surprisingly, the figure is higher among the elderly. According to another survey, in Great Britain 12 percent of the people over 65 complain of loneliness during the holidays. Yet another survey reported that more than 60 percent of people living in nursing homes would receive no visitors over the Christmas season, not even one. If you are fortunate enough to be a part of family gathering this Christmas, and know someone who is not so fortunate, you may want to include them. My daddy used to bring a retired preacher, an old bachelor, to our family Christmas. He always delighted us all when he prayed the blessing, for he thanked God for every dish on the table, saying, “Thank-you Lord, for the turkey, dressing, and cranberry sauce, for the ham, green beans, salad, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, potato salad, etc., etc.” Of course, for some of you, the shoe may be on the other foot. Perhaps you are one of those who fear being alone at Christmas. If so, what is to prevent you from calling up someone who you think may also be alone? Now this is often complicated by the fear of romance, so let me lay down a special rule for all New Philadelphians: An invitation to dine at Christmas does not constitute a proposal of marriage, and the acceptance of such an invitation does not imply a romantic inclination. There, if you fall into this group, you are now free to invite anyone you know to Christmas Dinner.
Now I hope that everyone within the sound of my voice knows what it is to have a perfect Christmas. A perfect Christmas is a Christmas that you have enough of everything, and to spare, with happy prospects for the New Year, a Christmas when every sweater fits, no cake falls, and every chair around your table is filled with a portion of the anatomy of someone that you love. Everybody ought to have at least a few “Calloway Christmases” over the course of a lifetime. If this Christmas is a Calloway Christmas for you, then I rejoice for you, and, as much as I am able, with you.
Yet, in my circle of acquaintances, those who have such Christmases are fewer with each passing year. Just last week I spoke with an older gentleman who told me that the only way he could celebrate Christmas was “like Ebenezer Scrooge.” I asked him to explain what he meant. He said, “Well, when I think of Christmas, if I want to keep my joy, I find that I must think not just of Christmas present, but also of Christmases past, and even of a future Christmas, in the kingdom of God, that I can look forward to with anticipation.”
I think I know what he means. I went to sleep last night thinking about this sermon, and I dreamed I was at a great Christmas party, and many of the important people in my life were there, some of whom belong only to my past. There were some people there from the present, too, including many of you. Then there were people at the party I did not recognize, so I assume that they are people I will meet at Christmases yet to come. Of course, it may be that they were just freeloaders!
If your present Christmas is not so perfect, it may help you to remember that the first Christmas was not so perfect either.
Perhaps you recall that when the Holy Family got to Bethlehem, “there was no room in the inn,” and that Jesus was “born in a manger.” It is likely that Joseph was an older man with a much younger bride. I am quite sure that Joseph wanted to make a good impression on Mary. His failure to find proper lodging for his wife and child must have been a source of considerable disappointment to him.
And what about Mary herself? There can be no doubt that, before Joseph arrived to take Mary in marriage, her condition was the subject of discussion around many a cooking fire. No doubt the women in her neighborhood noted that “she already had a bun in the oven.” They knew nothing of the work of the Holy Spirit. They knew only that she was pregnant. And what about the actual birthing of the baby Jesus? We sing about “Silent Night, Holy Night,” but if that night was as silent as it was holy, it was because Mary, was a Steel Magnolia. This is not a far-fetched as it sounds. Remember that Judah was the southern kingdom! Of course, even Steel Magnolia’s make a little noise in child birth. Remember how, in John chapter 16, Jesus once illustrated a sermon by referring to the pain of childbirth which the mother forgets after the child has been born? I wonder where Jesus first heard about the pain of childbirth? Did he hear it from his mother as he sat with her around the supper table, or did he hear it from her when she delivered one of “his brothers” that we read about in Mark 3:31-35?
And what about Jesus himself? The text says that his parents wrapped him in swaddling “clothes” (KJV) or “cloths” (RSV/NRSV) and laid him in a manger. A swaddling cloth by another name is a diaper. And the truth is that the swaddling cloths in which Mary wrapped Jesus were sometimes dry, and sometimes wet. The New Testament teaches that the Little Lord Jesus was like us in every particular, except our sin, and that means he did not skip over the messy, smelly part of being a human being. (Hebrews 4:15, Philippians 2, John 1)
And what about those gifts that the Wise Men brought—12 days late? Matthew implies that the gifts may have been given to assist the Holy Family in their flight into Egypt. I hope so, for they were not the most practical of gift. Bill Sides, Jr. spoke at Men’s Breakfast last Friday. In the course of his talk he told us how different it might have been had the “Three Wise Men” been “Three Wise Women.” He said that:
Three Wise Women would have stopped and asked directions, arrived on time, brought practical gifts, helped to deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, and made a casserole. Perhaps, too, we really would have had “Peace on Earth.”
And what about the Shepherds? I have saved the best for last. Not everything goes wrong at Christmas. Sometimes, something goes right. The shepherds had better timing than the Wise Men. According to our text ,they came to Bethlehem on the first night of Christmas, not the twelfth. They came and told the Holy Family some remarkable things. They told them that an angel of the Lord had appeared to them saying:
Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of a great joy which will be to all the people; 11 for unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. Luke 2:10-11
And they told of a multitude of the heavenly hosts who praised God saying:
4 Glory to God in the highest, and peace on earth, good will toward men.
Luke 2:14
The text of Luke’s gospel says that the shepherds told Mary about all that they had heard and seen, and that, “Mary kept all these things, pondering them in her heart.” I think that the gift of the shepherds was greater than the gifts of the Wise Men. The Wise Men brought perishables. The gold was spent, and the frankincense and myrrh were used up, as inevitably as you and I use up the fruits, and nuts, and cakes, and candies that people give us during the Christmas Season. The Shepherds brought something that could not perish, nor be used up, not in a lifetime, or a hundred lifetimes. They brought with them the “hope: of a time when God would rule the world in justice and in peace through Mary’s son, a time when God’s Messiah-King would be a blessing not just to Israel but to the nations. I do not doubt that Mary herself was pleased to think that the baby she nursed was the One through whom God would someday work to set right all the things in her world and ours that have gone wrong.
It is an old saw, but true, we are anxious at Christmas because we are more concerned with this Christmas, and less concerned with that Christmas, the first Christmas, the Christmas that is the foundation of all Christmas celebration and joy for all times.
I have a Prescription for Christmas Anxiety. I urge you to settle your thoughts not just on this transient Christmas—which is perfect once in awhile for a fortunate few, but to settle your thoughts first and foremost on that long ago Christmas in Bethlehem, which is the Christmas that God made once, for all of us. Karl Barth was right, “Christ may be born in us 1,000 times, but if he were not first born in Bethlehem, then we are still lost.”
If that is not enough, just remember the counsel of St. Paul:
6 Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving (We must not forget to give thanks for the good we already have!) let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
I hope and pray that you will have a wonderful Christmas!
Finis